venerdì, gennaio 19, 2007

Racy days

I wasn't sure whether this week would drag on, or fly by... but it ended up being the latter. I can scarcely believe it's Friday! I leave tomorrow. I LEAVE THE COUNTRY TOMORROW! I feel an odd mix of fear and exhiliration at the mere thought. On the one hand, I feel rather unprepared. My one semester of intro Italian is rusty, I still have clothes sitting on my bed, movies to return, phone calls to make, and a whole list of other details that have slipped through the cracks. But on the other hand, I feel like I've been ready to begin this adventure for months! For so many weeks I've been preparing for this, waiting in anxious anticipation for January 20th, for my first venture out into the world as an independent young woman. Yes, college is a leap, but this will lead me to an entirely different level of independence. And I'm ready for that. I yearn for it! I know this is right for me.

So as the minutes race past me, I find myself fluctuating between bursts of excitement and sinking moments of heavy anxiety. In one minute, glossy pictures of monuments and statues in my brand new Rome guide book... in the next, another 4-month goodbye, or urgent deadline. Actually, anything that comes up at this point is rather urgent... 20 hours until departure from home. I suppose I'll have to sleep for part of that too, but I'll worry about that later.

For now, I'm just trying to take deep breaths and remind myself that this is an unbelievable blessing, and that everything will be okay. Tomorrow will sneak up on me even faster than I anticipate, and soon I'll find myself staring out the window on my way to the airport... then staring out the plane window after landing in Paris... then staring out the window of my new room at the Hotel Tiziano, deep in the heart of Rome, the Eternal City. And sure, I'll feel overwhelmed at first, and tired and excited and woefully confused all at once. But before I know it, I'll find myself staring out the same windows in reverse order, scarcely believing that three and a half months could go so fast. I may not feel completely ready, and I might forget something important... but I know I'll find my way.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

It is time. Roma, here I come!

(I'll post again as soon as I'm able... probably Monday or Tuesday?)

posted by Sarah @ 6:45 PM