Vita è Bella!

A dream come true

One of my life goals has been to meet the Pope, and I still plan to achieve it, someday. No, this is not the dream come true I was referring to in the title... how I wish! But another version of this dream has been to attend a Mass presided by the Pope, and last Friday I got the chance to do so! It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

My friend Lisa has a cousin here in Rome who's a priest. She was eating gelato with him on Thursday at the Spanish Steps when he mentioned that he could get her tickets for Friday's Presentation of the Lord Mass. He gave her two, and after checking around with some people, she asked if I would join her. I was honored, and happily accepted! Unfortunately we had some walking tours on Friday afternoon, which caused us to get a late start, but we set out as soon as we were able and hurried down the street to the Vatican. When we arrived, we saw a huge line stretching around the entire perimeter of St. Peter's Square, the majority of which was made up by groups of sisters, monks, and priests ambling forward slowly in their matching robes. We scurried over to the end of the line, then stood and marvelled at the crowds. I've NEVER seen so many nuns in my life! We stood and soaked it all in, amused by the sisters wearing backpacks and fanny packs as they stood in line. After twenty minutes or so, we made it up to the security checkpoint and inside St. Peter's Basilica. We followed the crowds over to the left side of the altar, and found some seats on the side with the main altar directly in front of us. Only the Pope can say Mass on the main altar, so this was a big deal! I couldn't get over the people around us... thousands, literally thousands of people from all over the world, all gathered around one altar, one body in Christ. It was beautiful.

When we walked in, they handed us candles, and at the beginning of Mass they turned off all the lights in the Basilica and had us light our candles. We stood clutching them until the Pope made his way to the altar, and suddenly the lights surrounding the altar turned on in a blaze of glory. It was so bright that I had to shift my head a little, blinking my eyes as they adjusted to the rapid change. He was surrounded by an entourage of bishops, cardinals, priests and altar boys, but, like the first time I saw him at the Papal audience, I was struck by how small he seemed. One man with such immense responsibility... I can't even comprehend the weight he has to bear. So Mass began, and once again I could only pick up random Italian phrases, but still followed from memory in my head. It was a beautiful service, and I sat there trying to absorb every moment. I felt secure and peaceful in a way I've only felt in fleeting moments of grace in the past, and as Communion drew closer I found myself overwhelmed with emotion. I looked up at the dome, at the haze above the altar from the incense, and at the thousands of people around me, eyes fixed eagerly on the altar. In that moment, for the first time in my life I felt as though I truly understood just why I was Catholic.

During my freshman year of high school, I started to explore my faith with greater scrutiny, and to really examine just why I believed the doctrines I proclaimed every Sunday. Since then I've been continuously questioning and learning from Mass, and from those who have served as role models within the spiritual sphere of my life. I've started to realize that one of the things that draws me towards Catholicism is the universality of the Church--the fact that no matter where you go or what language the service is in, you can follow along at each point in the Mass. One of my favorite lines during Mass is "Unite all your children, wherever they may be." I find peace in knowing that somewhere across the ocean, so many of the people who are important to my life are sharing in the same traditions, offering up the same prayers as I, prayers that have lived on for two thousand years. It makes me feel connected with them, and with all the world. The Eucharist draws each individual into the community of the Church, to be one in God, and I love the realization that we support and embrace one another each time we receive Christ in the Eucharist. Sitting there, one tiny speck in a sea of people all seeking the same fulfilment and peace as I, was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I felt so miniscule in the vast depths of time and space, yet I understood that I am part of something more beautiful and intricate than I can even comprehend. I smiled with wonder as tears began to fall from my eyes. For just a second, I felt like I understood everything and nothing all at once, with perfect contentment, and it was one of the most exhilirating feelings I've ever known. It's hard to explain... but then it passed, leaving me somewhat breathless, yet more aware.

And then Communion came. Pure chaos! The sisters in our section tried to swarm forward to the other section to receive the Eucharist, but to their grave dismay, the priest distributing left the section before everyone had received. The nuns were not pleased, and they made sure that the Vatican workers were aware of their frustration! Lisa and I just stood back and observed, trying not to laugh. By this time I was feeling so at ease that I didn't even care whether I received the Eucharist at that time or not, though it's a little different for me because I know I'll be back. For some of them, this was probably a once-in-a-lifetime visit. Needless to say, things got a little more confusing after that, and my sense of peace faded into amusement, and eventually back into simplistic joy. The Pope processed out of the basilica, then all the way back up to the main altar for another address! We had no idea what he was saying, but it was cool. After that we watched everyone flood over to the center aisle to watch him leave again, decided not to get involved in that mess, and walked outside into a cool, clear, beautiful night. The moon was out, the fountains were all lit up, and the Vatican seemed to glow with ethereal beauty against the cerulean sky.

I stopped, looked back, and smiled. And then we skipped off across the square (literally), laughing the whole time.

Vita e bella.

posted by Sarah @ 10:39 AM