Vita è Bella!

Homesickness

The first few weeks of my time here seemed like one long vacation, with classes on the side. In the past week, though, it's finally started to sink in that I will be here for a while, and that no matter how much I want to, there's absolutely no way I can see anyone from home until May. This is a startling reality, because it's a brand new situation for me. In various moments of homesickness, I've started to feel very alone.

I know that we're all feeling this way together, but that doesn't ease the pain of homesickness. I guess I just don't know quite how to handle it yet, and I was wondering if you all had any suggestions? I usually pray, or write a letter, or consume some peanut butter (which is always enjoyable! The supply is still dangerously low though...) I go for walks pretty often too, just to get some fresh air and clear my head. There's an odd sense of comfort in just blending into a crowd and weaving your way down the street without any real destination.

I'm never considered myself a city girl. Far from it! I like to visit big cities, yes, but I've always been more of a nature girl, the type who loves to poke through hiking trails and forests, and follow alongside of a creek just to see where it ends up. I love the outdoors in any season, whether it's playing in the snow, skipping around my driveway during a spring thunderstorm, rolling down hills on summer nights, or crunching through leaves on the Avenue in the fall. So this whole city thing has been an odd adjustment... but apparently I'm doing a pretty good job of pretending. Yesterday, over the course of my afternoon walk I was stopped four seperate times (yet again!) by Italians asking me various questions. I try to understand what they're asking me, but normally just use the standard, "Non sono italiana... mi dispiace!" to which they smile knowingly, whisper something to the person next to them, and keep on walking. So I guess I fit in here.

I do miss home though. I wish I could take every person I love and bring them here with me... but I almost feel guilty for sitting here lamenting about it when I've been handed such an incredible gift. I'm constantly trying to achieve some sense of balance between the time I spend studying, praying, exploring the city, having fun with the girls, and keeping in touch with everyone from home. It can be overwhelming at times, and in a sense I feel like I'm always racing to catch up with a life that's pushing ahead of me. It certainly makes the time go quickly, for better or for worse!

I don't mean to complain. I've just been a little homesick lately. But this, too, shall pass.

posted by Sarah @ 10:47 AM