Vita è Bella!

Hello's and Goodbye's

Well... here I sit, just minutes after completing my last final.

My last final in Rome. The last time I will sit in that room, where I sat through so many excruciatingly long and warm days of Art History and not enough (and all too fleeting) Father Mark lectures. The room where we sat and watched "Roman Holiday" and plotted out our own Audrey Hepburn route, and reveled in all that Rome had to offer us. The room that had class going on when I was dragging my suitcase past before Spring Break and accidentally rammed it into the wall, knocking off a large chunk of tile while simultaneously bringing the Mythology class to a halt. It feels as though yesterday was the first time I stepped into it. This doesn't seem real. I've never been good at goodbyes, and the hardest thing I've had to realize during this last stretch of time in Rome is that many of these goodbyes could very well be forever. Yes, I'll come back here someday... but I may never see some of these people again.

I didn't realize how deeply I could plant my roots in such a short amount of time. I never dreamed that Rome would touch my heart in the way that it did. Coming into this semester, I knew that it would go fast and that the world around me would change, but I couldn't have predicted just how much I would change inside. I have changed, in a lot of ways, hopefully for the better. I feel more aware of myself, of the world, and of God's presence. I've gained a deeper sense of confidence and independence, and I've learned how to make more time for stillness in the face of chaos. I've been a part of some incredible communities, both among the students here on the program and the Italians who attend daily Mass at San Andrea, where I go to Mass several evenings a week. I've met some amazing individuals who have inspired me and refueled my hope in the potential of one person to change the world. I've been able to see places I've only dreamed of, and to call this eternal and beautiful city home in a way that not many people will get to in their lives. I've acquired more patience (thanks especially to the Italian Post Office) and have strengthened my faith in the fullness of God's mercy and grace. I can't even put into words the deep gratitude that dances in my soul! I am, truly, the luckiest girl alive.

I'm excited to go back home, to share all that I've gained here and to move on towards the next path on which God has plotted out my life. He has much in store for me, so long as I trust Him and follow, and I feel ready for whatever lies ahead. I'm not afraid.

At the same time, I feel a little anxious about what things will be like when I return. I'll be spending all of finals week at Saint Mary's, and it will be odd stepping into a world that's been in motion for four whole months. The people I love so dearly back at school have changed and evolved in one direction, and I've done the same in my own ways. It will be interesting to see just where I'll fit back into the world of home, and which changes will remain visible as I readjust to life in America. There are so many things I've gained here that I pray to hold onto, and I just hope I can hold onto the right things as I move forward. More than anything, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again, no matter what's changed in the past four months. I know that we'll all have a lot of catching up to do, but then we'll just pick right back up and embrace one another, and celebrate all that we've gained and all that's to come.

That's the best part... there's still SO much to come!

During this past couple weeks I've been on the wildest emotional roller coaster ride of my life. I've felt a million things at once, and more overwhelmed and excited and sad and thankful than I can even convey. But at the very center of it all, one thing has kept me rooted: my trust in God's plan. I'm not meant to settle in here when He has so much looming over the horizon for me. I've gained more here than I could have ever hoped to gain, but it's time to move on.

His grace hath brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.

<3

I love you all, and cannot wait to see you.

posted by Sarah @ 3:47 PM